It’s snowing outside. The first real snow this winter.

And where am I?

At Starbucks.

Why?

Because I’ve been kicked out of my own goddamned house. Forced to brave the icy roads, so someone can get their swerve on. A swerve which has been denied over and over again. But, I’m not stupid. Every time that bitch comes over, The Palace REEKS of swerve. Nasty.

Bitches everywhere, I’ve got some advice for you. Wash your ass. Do it often.  It doesn’t take long. Maybe an extra 6 seconds— 5 if you become experienced in ass-washing. Hell, if you ain’t got the time to wash it, at least let some water up in there. That’s what those detachable showerheads are for. Well, that, and getting off. But, that’s your business—not mine.